Employee Numbers & Unusual Singles Ads

It's time for Employee Reviews where I work. Yay. So in preparation for our employee review, we're supposed to go online to our company intranet and create an employee profile. Yay. To do that, we need our employee number.

Whoops... I don't know that.

So I call the Help center. I have them look me up, and much to my surprise I hear: "Sorry, Hon, you're not in the employee database." Well, that's news to me! I wonder why I've been going there every morning. That could explain why I don't have a nameplate for my desk yet. I don't really work there!

At least I'm getting a paycheck for some reason or another.

It is still significantly better than my prior jobs. Before this one, which I hope to keep for several years, I bounced from job to unemployment to job. Since high school (Yes, I went to college, but I still needed a job!), I've been a janitor, a painter, a movie theatre projectionist, a lab assistant, a computer teacher, and a yardsman at a lumber yard.

I didn't mind being a janitor. It was after-hours. I just swept and vacuumed rugs and such. Another janitor had to clean the toilets. Poor them.

The painting job was nice. I enjoyed it. Lots of time to think. The projectionist job was good to take naps. "Turn lights off. Turn projector on. Read or take nap. Turn projector off. Turn lights on. Go home." The lab assistant was okay. Nothing major.

Then there was the computer teacher job. Twelve hour days, got paid beans, but I enjoyed it. Two months in, I have to quit. My predecessor rang up $4,000 in debt and left me $200 to pay it with. Wasn't going to happen. (Then the boss fired the accountant. Allegedly for refusing to cook the books.) Other stuff. Very crappy. I miss the job, but nothing else.

Then came the yardsman's job. For six months, I woke up in the morning and asked myself the question "Should I go to work, or jump out my window?" Unfun. The yard's business was quickly going down the crapper. And the managers don't care. So the employees don't care. So it sucked. I was glad to get out of there.

Finally, I managed to get a job in my field. Yay! So far, so good.

But yeah, enough about my boring life story. On to the funny anecdote!

Like many people, I get spam from dating services. Unlike many people, I read them. They're good for a laugh! Especially if the damn spammers know where you live. They tend to filter
"matches" (i.e. people who live somewhat close to you) and include a few in the e-mail. You'd be surprised how many people you know end up in those things. And considering I live in Small Town, U.S.A., where everybody knows everybody... It gets funny fast.

But I ran across an unusual one the other day. A girl that goes to my Alma Mater... (that's the place where I went to college, for those of you who "don' know them thar big words") ...had a listing. I read the listing. Meh. Nothing funny.

So I reread it. I can find humor in almost anything, so I must've missed something. I did.

From the post, I gathered she already had a boyfriend, BUT would like to have an online chat-relationship with someone who knows Visual Basic and philosophy.

Let me translate: "I am signing up for this dating service to con gullible dorky men into helping me with my homework."

What ever happened to peer tutoring or student services? Has my Alma Mater really become that destitute and desperate?!

That would be kind of funny. "Now, Class... We no longer have tutors, so you have to turn to online dating services for help."

Hint: If your professor says that, run.

Anyway, that's all I got for today.

So 'til next time, rock on.