Tipping My Tinfoil Hat

"I think the server ate my pants."
- Random KnightErrant quote of the day

Nope, I'm not giving you the context of that. You'll just have to use your imagination. :)

Anyway, I was discussing the REAL ID act with a friend this afternoon, and got into a pretty convulted argument over it. (He's a bigger nerd than I am and started bringing up checksums and security and whatnot... I think he's smarter than most people actually in charge of government security! :P)

Anyway, the one line uttered that makes me cringe every time I hear it during a privacy rights debate is as follows:

"If I don't do anything wrong, then I don't have anything to worry about.

*Cringe! Cringe!!!* That's almost as bad as "Well I have nothing to hide."

A) Think hard enough, and I'm somewhat certain you have SOMETHING about you you'd prefer to stay between you and the lamppost

B) "Wrong" has the trouble of being somewhat open to interpretation.

People go on power trips, and this is especially true in terms of people with authority. It's bad at the local level, where people are unimportant but think they are. Can you imagine how bad it would be at the national level where people actually have some power behind them? (For examples of nonimportant power-mad folk, take the president of my alma mater and his brownnosing toadies deans and administrators. Between student-funded trips to Germany and Thailand, the fucker tried to pull such stunts as censor the student media, build himself a new mansion, and generally make a nuisance out of himself. And he actually wasn't even a bad guy. Now take him, and give him power beyond a tiny country college. Yeah, uh oh.)

So to put on my tinfoil hat and let you think a while: Although the REAL ID act does not explicitly create a "Big Brother" environment, it is yet another step in the erosion of privacy and freedom. Let's take it to the most drastic conclusion possible: A 1984-esque surveillance state where you are watched ALL the time for any hint of dissent. Could you live in a society where every action is scrutinized by authorities for potential treason? (And woe to you if you show the least bit of free-will or intelligent thought!)

Kiddos, we're not there yet, but the first steps have been taken.

My problems with the REAL ID act are legion, but that won't stop me from trying to explain. :-P

The method used to pass it was dishonest. First off, it's backdoor legislation. The REAL ID (Why did they put the damn thing in caps?) act was tagged onto an emergency funding bill. No politician in their right mind is going to vote down a funding bill to send money to Tsunami relief efforts and for equipping the troops with body armor! So when the poli-ticks have a bill that will never pass, they get it tagged on as an amendment to a sure-thing bill like the funding bill (despite the fact it has nothing to do with funding).

The rationale behind it is flimsy. The simplified version of its proposed purpose is "Stop terrorists!" Ostensibly, it's to stop them from getting on planes and whatnot. It accomplishes this by standardizing all state-issued drivers licenses.

Er... Um... The 9/11 hijackers used their passports. Their foreign-government issued passports. And they got into the country on valid student visas, approved by the Feds. They did not need driver's licenses, Sam-I-Am.

And in any case, are these licenses going to have "I AM EVIL" stamped across the top if you're a terrorist? Documents do not provide details on a person's intentions if they're planning on blowing something up!

It puts too much data in one place. It plans on putting far too much data in machine readable code on your license. No solid leads on exactly what it'll contain (see my next beef), but for example my driver's license already contains my name, address, signature, date of birth, some physical details like height and eye color, and medical issues as they relate to driving. Kids, they're not going to stop there, especially not if machine-readable technology allows them to fit even more details on. And from the wording, it sounds like Social Security Numbers will be involved. Gee … Name, Social Security Number, Address, Date of Birth… Credit card fraud, anyone?

No oversight on these regulations. The Intelligence Reform Act of 2004 already covered improved ID security. And best of all, the rules were to be negotiated between the federal government, state government, and civil rights groups. REAL ID tramples these negotiations into the ground with a hearty "My way or the highway, beeeeyatch!" Compounding this error, it places all authority on exactly what goes on these cards in the hands of Homeland Security. No oversight by congress or any independent agency. Potential items included? Biometrics, criminal records, and a bunch of other stuff you don't want in the hands of a guy who swipes your wallet. And because it's "common machine-readable technology," most businesses could theoretically have it. A little gizmo by the bar, and the bartender is swiping your data to sell to ChoicePoint for a few extra bucks.

Nationwide database makes a bad idea worse. In addition to what they put on the card, your license will also be linked up to a distributed database that each state will be forced to maintain and keep in synch with all the other state's databases. In effect, a national database of all it's citizens. Not only is security a big risk (once again, I refer to ChoicePoint) as identity thieves would now have a one-stop shop for all their larcenous needs, can you think of how easy it would be to use said database to track people? They swipe your license to check your ID, and it pings back to the database: where you are, what you're doing, what you're buying, etc.

Time consuming, expensive, and states that don't have the resources to keep up get anally pillaged. Government related areas everywhere will need new machine readers and links to the national database. DMV license centers will require new encoding machines. Since it will now be a matter of national security, all DMV employees will need a security clearance. The licenses will need redesigned. Do you think all that is free? Ka-ching, ka-ching, baby. That's the sound of the price being tagged on to your taxes and license fees!
Then there is the time factor. Currently all a driver's license really signifies is that you can drive. So when you get a new license (at least in my state), all you need is a camera card and your old license. In, out, ten minutes depending on line. More documents will be added. Your identity will be scrutinized. There will likely be delays if there is a paperwork problem.

In a few years, to get your license, remember to pack a lunch! You may be a while.

Then there is the problem that if the states don't get up to snuff in time, their drivers licenses will be considered NULL as far as using them for an official purpose. No getting on planes for continental flights. No getting a job (For the proof of eligibility to work, you need at least two forms of ID, one of which is typically the driver's license). Think, and you'll probably come up with a few other places where you need to prove your Identity for a federal purpose.

Habeas Corpus, Out the Window! The REAL ID act doesn’t just focus on ID’s. Habeas Corpus, the right to petition the courts for release if you feel your being held illegally, is no longer viable in some cases. So, in effect, the law allows the government to toss certain groups of people in jail without regard if they’ve actually done something wrong. If they can’t petition for release, who’s to stop it from just becoming a “Oubliette” situation – lock them up and forget they exist? Currently, it’s limited to immigrants under certain situations – but what happens when it’s expanded to include “subversives”, “malcontents”, or “political extremists?”

Fences, fences, everywhere… Real ID also waives all requirements for the DHS to build security fences on the US borders. (Specifically, it says borders. But it will probably be expanded to “Wherever we damn well please.”) So, theoretically, they could put a fence through your front yard because they felt like it.

Your Papers Please, Herr Citizen! - It’s said that an argument on the Internet doesn’t end until someone is compared to Hitler. Well, I’m not doing that, but I am going to compare the potential end-result of the REAL ID act to the practice of Nazi Germany: All citizens, tracked and documented, all the time. Do we really want to follow in the footsteps of NAZIS?! Geez.

I’m going to end the angry, paranoid part of this post with some quotes to think over:
On the Nazi thing: “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it” - George Santayana
On the Freedom vs Security thing: “They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security” – Benjamin Franklin
On my tinfoil-hatness: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you” – Anon :-P


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Okay, on to the goofy stuff!

So this guy in Romania wrecked his car because his girlfriend was giving him Oral while he was driving. People never cease to amaze me.

Anyway, the kicker was that he had known her for a whole day. Wow, they move fast.

Anyway, so he just meets this girl, and of course the next logical step in a new relationship is get naked while driving and have the girl give the driver head. Happens all the time. *rolls eyes*

So, they come to a curve in the road. The article says he “Forgot” to turn.

Yeah, right, he “Forgot.” Mark it down as “Couldn’t be bothered at the time…”

So they go off the road, and wreck into a parked car. And they do not stop!

The couple in the car they wrecked into got out to make sure the occupants of the car that just wrecked into them. They and other spectators of the wreck ended up getting a free hardcore peep show.

After they finally got done, the driver offered to pay for the damages, and between that and the fact that they “enjoyed the show,” the people who got wrecked into decided not to press charges.

The only punishment? A 90 day license suspension. (I would daresay the young man probably thinks it was worth it.)

Crazy kids these days. :P

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On one final note, I ran across an interesting interview on Boing Boing. I recommend reading it. It’s about an environmentalist who did some rather radical stuff on principal. And by radical, I mean he refused to ride in a gasoline-powered automobile for 22 years, and topped it off with a 17 year long vow of silence. It’s an interesting read. Link to it here.