Blind Dates and Other Insanity

"It was a four-hundred pound flying gay Italian!"
-Random KnightErrant quote

So, one of my friends called me up randomly tonight. "Hey, I have this cute redhead sitting in my apartment who said she does not object to meeting my intelligent, ambitious friend." (Ambitious? Argh, I've never liked that word. I've always attached negative connotations to it. I've always preferred words like "Purposeful" or "Aspiring." Ambitious I just attach "Greedy pushy jackass" to. Anyway...!)

Apparently, he and his fiancée decided "We each have a persistently single friend. Therefore, they must meet!" I wasn't sure if I should be thankful or if I should strangle the bastard. However, he said the magic words: "Cute redhead." I'm a sucker for red hair. Must be the Irish blood.

So, I said "Yeah, sure, meet you there." Then I hung up. Then I went "Oh shit." Then I went into Warp-Drive mode, got showered, shaved, and changed (I went out last night, and I was quite personally planning on doing jack shit for this evening), jumped in my car and off I went.

On the way, I was thinking "Gee, they're are blatantly trying to fix me up. I daresay this shall be awkward." And it was.

I finally meet them at the restaurant (No, the fiancée didn't abandon her friend, so it was a half-blind double-date ... or something ... what's the technical term for that? Nevermind.), and all I can think is "Hey, her hair's not red..." I suppose it was sort of red, but I would say it fell safely into the brown. She did have green eyes, though. Another thing I'm a sucker for.

Anyway, I say hello and am greeted with a hiccup. Poor girl is being drug into town to meet someone, and she ends up with a case of the hiccups! That had to suck.

Anyway, it all went pretty awkwardly, but wasn't disastrous. Could've been worse. I was far too quiet (my brain shut off and I couldn’t think straight) and she had hiccups the entire night, but we swapped a few stories (be it her friend the 400 pound gay Italian, or me in a swordfight due to someone thinking I was trying to steal his girlfriend), swapped stupid human tricks (I can swear in four languages, you bualadh craicinn bitseach!), and generally made two hours of awkward conversation almost bearable. I don't see anything coming out of it, but I won't be avoiding her in the future or anything.

But that comes to my point of the evening, which will take a lot less time than the pointless story about my sort-of-blind-date: not that I particularly object, but why do the attached feel the need to find people for their unattached friends? Is it some unconscious urge? Do they feel sorry for us? What? I'm just kinda confused, is all. They shuttle us off into an awkward situation that will, in all likelihood, fail to achieve its stated objective. Makes little sense to me.

Hot tip though: if you drag your single friends to a restaurant… ORDER FOOD, DAMN IT! We sat down in a restaurant, and the two attached people went “Ahh, nothing for me.”

The girl and I just looked at each other and eventually ordered pie, but it wasn’t cool that they passed on the food. Sort of defeats the entire purpose of a restaurant to NOT eat, and just makes an odd situation … odder.

Ah well.

Enough about my odd day. Rock on, kids.